“When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.”
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If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
