My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad but New… — Quoted

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“My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad but New York City?”

Henny Youngman · Dad

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Henny Youngman

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

Teacher

Henny Youngman

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

Home

Henny Youngman

This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!

Graduation

Henny Youngman

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.

Money