Helen Rowland

When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.

And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.

Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them.

A fool and her money are soon courted.

Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.

Love, the quest marriage, the conquest divorce, the inquest.

After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying it's separating himself from all the others.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.

The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.