“Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.”
Tip: press → for another quote, C to copy, S to share.
Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
