“I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.”
Tip: press → for another quote, C to copy, S to share.
I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
