“I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.”
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Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
