Marriage quotes

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he'd be dead within a year.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

If I get married, I want to be very married.

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about.

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.

Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.

Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.

Don't marry the person you think you can live with marry only the individual you think you can't live without.

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.