Bill Cosby

Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.

Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.

Every success story has a parent who says, 'over my dead body.' Every success story has an old person who walks up to you and says, when you're acting the fool, 'you know I worry about you sometimes.'

Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.

The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.

I think the part of media that romanticizes criminal behavior, things that a person will say against women, profanity, being gangster, having multiple children with multiple men and women and not wanting to is prevalent. When you look at the majority of shows on television they placate that kind of behavior.

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

We're not raising children with the love that we need to.

I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.

I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don't cry over the one person who doesn't.

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.

Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.