Kinky Friedman

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!

I never apologize for the truth. And the truth here is that racists come in many different colors.

I've always said money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.

Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get.

We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design?

No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.