Craig Ferguson

The wedding took place in Vermont, where they have legalized gay civil unions, and I married a woman.

I think I'm just someone that just tries to get by. I'm kind of - if it was during the Second World War, I'd be a black marketeer, I think.

If Scotland and America go to war, I'm afraid I've already sworn in.

I dropped out of high school when I was 16, after I had a huge argument with my English teacher over the meaning of the word 'existentialism.'

I realized women and humor were linked very closely.

I hope what I do has an art to it, and as an artist you have to try new things and keep yourself entertained.

I am reasonably happy. I didn't find Jesus or anything like that. Part of it is that I just feel that I could go home. I did not feel like that for a long time, but I could go back now.

I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny.

I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.

Why do people do things that they fear? It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.

It's not that we fly by the seat of our pants. We're not afraid of failure.

It's like, it's kind of like if you ever had a car and it was a bit of a clunker but you love it, that's my show. It's a bit of a clunker but I know where everything is and I like it.

It's the beauty and curse of doing a daily show. Some days you've got nothing to talk about and other days Dick Cheney shoots his lawyer in the face and everyone is happy.

I think that clearly it has an influence, to be coming of age during the punk rock era, to come from a difficult and sporadically violent background, to have been in and out of such chaos, I think it actually helps. But I don't know for sure.