“Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.”
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Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
Every speaker has a mouth An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.
In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.