“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.”
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I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.
I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.
