I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the… — Quoted

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“I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.”

Fred Allen · Graduation

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Fred Allen

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.

Age

Fred Allen

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.

Family

Fred Allen

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

Funny

Fred Allen

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.

Humor