I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you fi… — Quoted

“Quotes”

“I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.”

Fred Allen · Funny

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Fred Allen

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.

Humor

Fred Allen

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.

Age

Fred Allen

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

Fear

Fred Allen

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.

Success