I cannot sing, dance or act what else would I be but a talk show host. — Quoted

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“I cannot sing, dance or act what else would I be but a talk show host.”

David Letterman · Funny

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David Letterman

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

Business

David Letterman

There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing.

Courage

David Letterman

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?

Health

David Letterman

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.

Intelligence