“I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.”
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I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.
I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going.
I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe.
My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'
