Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds. — Quoted

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“Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.”

Joan Rivers · Food

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Joan Rivers

Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.

Good

Joan Rivers

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.

Respect

Joan Rivers

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Funny

Joan Rivers

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

Funny