Mark Twain

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.

It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

It is not best that we should all think alike it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

We have the best government that money can buy.

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

When angry, count to four when very angry, swear.

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.