Will Rogers

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

Don't gamble take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.

So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.

The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.

The best way out of a difficulty is through it.