Mark Twain

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.

My books are like water those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.

Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.

To be good is noble but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.

There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive but it is lightning that does the work.

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.