My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle… — Quoted

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“My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.”

Tim Allen · Car

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Tim Allen

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Funny

Tim Allen

In my experience, it's all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.

Experience

Tim Allen

I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody's car.

Car

Tim Allen

Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end.' Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.

Trust