“You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.”
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
