“I listen like mad to any conversation taking place next to me just trying to hear why this is funny. Women's restrooms are especially great. I wash my hands twice waiting for people to come in and start talking.”
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I need to be cheered up a lot. I think funny people are people who need to be cheered up.
Humor is such a wonderful thing, helping you realize what a fool you are but how beautiful that is at the same time.
If I didn't try to eavesdrop on every bus ride I take or look for the humor when I go for a walk, I would just be depressed all the time.
My mom didn't want me to go to college. She didn't want me to read - when I read, I may as well have been holding a pineapple.
