There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice. — Quoted

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“There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.”

Lewis Black · Funny

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Lewis Black

And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to ya, but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bloodshot eye.

Morning

Lewis Black

If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating itself. That's why I believe there should be a psychiatrist at every health club, so that when they see you doing this, they will take you away for a little chat.

Health

Lewis Black

Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas.

Politics

Lewis Black

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

Funny