Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for… — Quoted

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“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”

Johnny Carson · Funny

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Johnny Carson

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

Food

Johnny Carson

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

Loneliness

Johnny Carson

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.

Health

Johnny Carson

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Marriage