“Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.”
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There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
