“I feel monotony and death to be almost the same.”
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Memory in youth is active and easily impressible in old age it is comparatively callous to new impressions, but still retains vividly those of earlier years.
If you are cast in a different mould to the majority, it is no merit of yours: Nature did it.
You had no right to be born for you make no use of life. Instead of living for, in, and with yourself, as a reasonable being ought, you seek only to fasten your feebleness on some other person's strength.
Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity, or registering wrongs.